A Proud Bad Bitch

Hellllo Queens! Long time, no blog!! I want to take a second to apologize for keeping you guys hanging without any content last week. YA GIRL WAS GETTING HER ASS KICKED BY SOME MIDTERMS but it’s almost over, I’m still a bad bitch and everything is fine. But, I am here, and I am beyond excited to talk some shit and dive into today’s topic because it’s something that I think everyone has had a struggle with at some point in their lives. Now one of the most common topics I’ve been seeing on twitter is talking about being upfront with people, letting the other person know your intentions from the beginning and being able to be honest about everything from there on out. Yet here’s the issue, EVERYONE WANTS THE OTHER PERSON TO BE THE ONE TO BRING THE ISSUE UP. We want all these results/answers and we aren’t willing to get them ourselves so instead we let our pride get in the way of our happiness and that’s the mf tea.

I think one our biggest flaws as humans is that we like to assume people are mind readers from time to time. We want to believe that if we think hard enough, and somehow send that energy that someone will telepathically understand EXACTLY what we want……. well sis, let me tell you. That ain’t it. I need my queens to be go getters but like I said before, we allow our pride to get in the way. Our pride keeps us from shooting our shot, being direct with our feelings, admitting when our lives are a little fucked up and everything else that falls in between. Some of us also go through the struggling of letting our pride morph into this image of lower self-esteem. We let this idea get in the way and end up fearing the result which we assume to be rejection. I think that most of us are afraid to take the initiative because we assume that we will fail and if that happens, our pride will be diminished. So, in order to keep our pride intact, we refuse to test the limits and be exposed to the possibility of failure but let me tell you bitch… YOU WILL MF FAIL ALL THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE. I think you’re all perfect but in reality, there’s no such thing. Not only will you fail again but you’ll get rejected because it happens! But here’s the beauty with rejection and failure, you learn from it and get to tackle it again but with a stronger mindset. Plus, rejection gives you more time to focus on the next task because the last task is out of the way. It’s easier to see the positives rather than the negatives most of the time. Like shit, I know this all sucks sometimes and I understand that being a queen is hard but damn we must do it somehow.

Let me use my personal life as an example because maybe more of y’all can relate to my shit show. So, if you know me, you may know that I’m highly independent. I often preach that I don’t need anyone to fulfill my happiness but also preach that the company of people in general make me happy. I am also a big advocate of not “needing” a significant other but I can want one all day long. It’s honestly ironic that I’m trying to give advice on pride because I struggle with it so bad yet again, that’s why I write these damn things. Anyway like I’ve said before, I have someone I’m currently interested in (I’m not telling you his name because he’s not mine but like….he is, so mind your business) and he’s aware but shiiiiiit, it took me a while to admit it to myself because I was convinced that I didn’t want any parts of a man (besides the lower half) for a while. I was very set on focusing on my own happiness and didn’t even want to think about giving someone the potential to ruin it. Yet, here I was, having feelings for this cute ass, funny ass, head ass, guy but denying it because of my pride that I hold in myself. All summer I was updating my 2 closest friends on this dude and how great things were going but couldn’t even pull myself to tell him so instead my stupid pride got in the way and I was like nah, you alright, I don’t need you. (I still don’t need him, but I want him, very different and not pride related) Buuuuuuuut, after a few conversations, some thinking and time, I realized my pride was the only holding me back in this matter. I might as well tell homeboy what I was telling everyone else because I wasn’t going to advance the situation if I kept my feelings and vulnerability to myself. Long story short, I ended up telling the dumb ass (sorry boo) how I felt, and it ended up somewhat working out. Our situation is still complicated but that for other issues, not because of MY pride.

Now ladies, your situation of course may be totally different. You may be potentially interested in someone but afraid to make your move or confirm your interest with them. You could be already talking to someone but allowing your pride to prevent you from revealing your intentions and waiting for them. Honestly, you could be afraid to let it be known that you’re not okay because you still want to let everyone think you’re strong all day, every day. The struggle is to not let pride get in the way of potential happiness. Shiiiiiit, how do you expect to build stronger walls if you don’t tear down old ones? Sometimes you have to recreate the foundation in order to build onto it. I think us queens need realize what we want out of life and determine how we are going to get that. If you don’t allow yourself to go out of your comfort zone, you will live life in this comfortable state where there is no progression in happiness. In order to find true happiness, you have to take a step back and realize the bad bitch you are. I’m here to tell you that BAD BITCHES HAVE FEELINGS, OKAY?!

So, in conclusion pride is some wicked shit but I refuse to let it prevent me from living out my full potential and want my ladies to realize the same. Shiiiiiit, shoot ya shot, tell them how to feel, accept some vulnerability (in moderation), and accept that it’s okay to not be okay all the time. I promise that I will think your bad bitches regardless and I know you’re all capable of dominating the world. I want you to realize what you’re all capable of and even though I want you all to radiate the badass in you, I also want you to accept your feelings, confront them and don’t be afraid to share them, no matter the case. I know what my queens are capable of. POINT, BLANK, PERIOD.

XOXO, from one queen to another