Five star meallllll

Hello my lovely Queens! It’s MF woman crush Wednesday and who deserves more to be my crush on this lovely Wednesday than my beautiful and confident queens? Corny? Sure, I don’t care because I’m going to own it at this point. Anyway, before I really get started let me give y’all this example. So, you’re a tad hungry and you pull up to your favorite restaurant that you’ve been craving all week but you forgot they don’t open for another hour, do you wait the hour or just go with some McDonald's? Personally, ya girl choosing the better meal at my favorite restaurant. I’m not a McDonald's enthusiast at all, but from time to time, I catch myself settling, which is my whole point.

Now, if there is one thing I love in this world most, it’s food but the sense of enjoyment only lasts about 5-10 minutes before I inhale the whole meal. So since food is a short lived experience, I guess I could try to find a longer sense of enjoyment through a person whether it’s a friend or spouse. But if I’m not settling on my meals, what makes you think it’s any different for a person? Many of us get caught up in relationships where we settle and are often found to be one sided. Why? Why do we honestly think we deserve less than we actually do? Well, who tf knows, but here we are. Especially, as women, we are known to care and nurture. So when it comes time for us to care about people, we care hard and deep. This concept is totally fine, but there are many cases where the energy isn’t reciprocated and we don’t realize until it seems too late. However, there is no such thing as too late. No matter the time or circumstance, if someone in your life is toxic and making you compromise your life, decisions or happiness, you have to let them know and if they don’t change it then they have to go. PERIOD.

For starters, many of us struggle with one sided friendships or relationships. I know how hard it is it to attach to someone, to realize they’re not the best option and try to cut them off. Shit is not easy whatsoever but sometimes it has to be done. Though, in the better case, you may not have to cut the person off and all you have to do is speak up for yourself in order to reach happiness.

I have had a few instances where I felt like I was adjusting my wants and needs in order to please someone else. My last relationship was based off of that fact. I was so consumed with being in love that I based all my decisions off what I thought made him happy rather than myself. After that, I decided to never let someone be in control of my emotions again and settle for someone who isn't worth my time and energy. Even now, I am some what, kinda, sorta talking to this great guy who almost seems to be the male version of myself. Though, even with this guy, there are some complications but I have not once lost sense of who I am. Instead of settling and compromising my wishes, I made it clear that I want him in my life but I need to put myself first. I will always support him whenever he needs it but I realized if it doesn’t work out than it will be okay. I thought I was settling at first because how could I find interest in someone who could potentially find someone else since we are away at school? Well, if that’s the case than so be it because I don’t have time to revolve my life around hopes and wishes depending on someone else's actions. I’ve determined that I won’t wait around either but if he wants me, he knows where I am. I always hope for the best and plan to keep him in my life but I have to remember who I am and the the work I’ve put into myself as a woman first.

I think many of us women find ourselves in situations that seem impossible to leave because most of us are so devoted to the time we put into the people. At the end of the day you need to make sure that your decisions are for YOU and based of YOUR own happiness not someone else’s. I hope that no one feels the need to settle where they feel comfortable because they don’t think they can find anything better. I read a tweet today that really captured a good feel of my topic and some more; “Getting your shit together requires a level of honesty you can’t even imagine. There’s nothing easy about realizing you’re the one that’s been holding you back this whole time.” Therefore, by allowing people to alter our decisions and causing us to settle where we aren’t fully happy and comfortable with life, we are holding ourselves back. The best thing to do is find happiness in yourself first. Think about all that time you’re putting into the wrong people and how you could be putting it into yourself. Though, like I said before, you don’t always have to cut that person off. I am a firm believer in being up front, discussing feelings, and having mature conversations. I would hope that all my queens feel comfortable discussing how they feel and are aware of the royal treatment they deserve in all aspects of life.

In conclusion, I am here to remind you that you are all indeed QUEENS. This means you all deserve to be genuinely happy and have people who love you for you. BUT, this does not mean you are a spoiled brat who can go around demanding what you want from people. If you do that, you have your own issues and we can discuss at a later time. My goal with this post is to remind y’all to never settle in any aspect of your life to where it compromises your happiness. Yes, there’s some loopholes with short term and long term choices, but I wanted to focus on the aspects of relationships because that’s one of the main areas where we are often caught up and settle. All my queens should be surrounded by friends, family, and a lover (if you want) who pushes you to be the best you can be every day. I meaaaaaaan, you guys are already flawless, you can only get better from here. Now, go chase that five star meal baby and leave the McDonald's for another time.

XOXO, from one queen to another