Wants VS. Needs

We meet again Queens! I'm glad you're back for week 2 and I'm ready to dive into a topic that most of us can relate and take interest on.

Last week I talked about how this is our world and everyone else is just living in it. Well, that statement still stands but what about them?

Ahhhh yes, the boys. The interesting other species.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, we wish we knew why they do the things they do. I am here to tell you, THEY DON'T KNOW THEMSELVES. The male species doesn't understand the male species. I have many theories for their logic but that will be unfolded later in our journey. If I have any male readers, this isn't to tear you down but rather to express a woman's frustration when dealing with your thoughts and actions.

Many of us have been through a heart break, feel like we will never find someone, we don't feel like we aren't good enough, or some of you are in a relationship that makes you totally happy and content. If you are in a relationship I am not here to tear you down either, (come on, this is Queens Corner.. nobody has time for that shit), I am here to remind you of the queen you are and the rightful mindset you should have if you have a man or not. Women should feel confident with or without someone. (sames goes for males as well)

Let me give you a little background of my personal life so you can understand me a little more, see where I am coming from or possibly relate. In high school, I didn't have any serious relationships. I was a party girl, I flirted with a lot of boys but was never looking for anyone nor did anyone really pursue me (their loss, I am so funny) but I was totally fine with that. Then after my senior year, I rekindled with a guy friend from middle school at a music festival. At this music festival, I got too drunk then woke up with a boyfriend the next day. Alright I'm definitely kidding (well kinda). So a couple of days after the festival he started asking me on dates. I'm like "Dude, chill I leave for college in like 2 months." But he was so persistent, so I went for it. After our first date, we were almost inseparable. We were a lot a like, also different enough for it to create a solid relationship. We did the long distance thing so that was a struggle alone but we were dedicated to make it work and it worked pretty good. We took turns driving every 2-3 weeks to see each other, keep in mind he was from home, in Delaware, while I was attending school in Virginia. (4 hour drive) We had some hardships, just like every relationship but the love I had for this boy was indescribable. He was my first love so of course it was different. Anyway, things got harder and things just slowly crumbled. We broke up after 2 years because we weren't on the same page. I tried for months to tell him things were different but nothing changed, so one day I told him I was leaving and he let me go. He never asked me to come back and he simply let me slip right out of his hands. Of course, I was heart broken because I felt like I wasn't worth fighting for. Well, this was early June and I had a whole summer in front of me. I took about 2 weeks to be sad but then I made my life what I wanted. Things were hard from time to time but I was doing okay and now I am doing great. I pushed myself to not be concerned about what he was doing and I just lived my best life. It was so easy to be happy even after we broke up because he WASN'T my happiness but rather someone who just made me happy and in reality, that's all a man should be. Your person should not be your life but rather a part of your life.

As a woman, you are capable of so many things and opportunities. I am here to remind you that a man is a WANT, and not a NEED. Boys are 100% (more like 48%) great when they want to be. I am a big advocate of "going with the flow" in life so I am sure that all my queens will find the king they deserve. I also believe if you want something, go get it, so if there is a boy you are interested in, SHIIIIIIIT GIRL, shoot your shot but do it because you want him, not because you think you NEED him. BUT, in the meantime, embrace your independence, confidence and happiness.

I am currently in college, 20 years old, so I am figuring that most of my readers fall in the same age range. At this time in our lives, it's the core time to figure out who you want to be, what you want to be and deciding why and how you are going to be it. Try not to worry about if that boy is going to DM you, wondering why he hasn't said anything cute and flirty in a few days, waiting until he likes your pictures or if he's even thinking of you. If you focus on your education, career, family, friends and health, everything else will fall into place. This is our time to show the world what women can do. We are fearless, beautiful and independent.

Let me conclude and clarify. We as women are the SHIT and I will never stop saying that. Many of us struggle with confidence, feeling like we aren't good enough and being proud of who we are. Typically, when we struggle with that issue, we look for reassurance from males. In our minds, sometimes (usually) they don't say the right thing, sometimes they have someone else or sometimes (most of the time) they don't know what to say. Usually, they are still figuring out what their next meal is and didn't even realize what you said or failed to realize that you were flirting. Instead of looking for reassurance and happiness in someone else, BE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. Show these boys who they are really dealing with!

If you are in a relationship don't let me convince you your man is awful because that's also not my point. The point is to be find love in yourself. No matter how cute that boy is, you cannot fully love him until you learn to love yourself.

I want everyone to be proud of who they are, have confidence on a daily basis, push yourself to accomplish your goals and REMEMBER WHO TF YOU ARE!

YOU ARE FIERCE AND FEARLESS. GO SLAY MY LIFE BOO.